


we race out on the desert plains all night (remastered)

by supaprittiest



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Fix-It
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:00:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28209465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supaprittiest/pseuds/supaprittiest
Summary: four years later and i decided to rewrite the first chapter of my alternate ending to the fateful 3x07 episode. lexa doesn't die, clarke goes back to arkadia, life is good in this timeline. enjoy
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34





	1. Chapter 1

Clarke hadn’t fully expected Lexa to be in her room- surely the Commander would be busy attending other matters. And yet, there was a small sliver of hope that Lexa would be there, and a blatant curiosity about what she surrounded herself with in private, so she let herself inside. She looked around the room and noted how undeniably Lexa it was. There were no personal items around the room, but despite that, it still felt warm and welcoming. The open window brought an endless supply of fresh air into the room- something Clarke still wasn’t used to even after being on the ground for so long. It was a perfect space for someone to be able to relax in, no matter how gruesome or stressful their day had been. A perfect space for someone like Lexa.

When she saw Lexa come around a corner, her heart jumped right into her throat. She’d seldom seen her with her hair down, though she was always itching to sketch her like this, to be able to look at it whenever she pleased. Lexa paused upon seeing Clarke in her bedroom, her slender fingers still working the ends of her hair, almost as surprised as Clarke was to see her. Clarke bit her lip and straightened a little. She didn’t have to tell Lexa she was leaving- the disappointment was palpable between them.

“When do you leave?” Lexa asked, a hint of desperation in her voice as she drew closer. The light filtering through the window caught her hair perfectly in a golden halo around her.

“Now,” Clarke said breathlessly, forcing herself to get through this. Lexa nodded, and Clarke walked towards her. Even as they approached each other, the distance between their respective people stood between them. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. You have to go back, they’re your people. That’s why I-” she paused, and Clarke felt her heart skip. Her mind reeled, wondering what words had just fallen from her lips. She met Lexa’s gaze, who shook her head almost too slightly to notice. Clarke would never know what would’ve been said. “That’s why you’re you.”

“Maybe someday, you and I will owe nothing more to our people,” Clarke said, though there was no hope in her tone of voice. They both knew that would never happen. She dared take a step closer. The look in Lexa’s eye was heartbreaking- not once had she seen Lexa tear up, and that’s when it occurred to Clarke that maybe Lexa still harboured the same feelings she’d had before the attack on the mountain. That maybe _she_ could still return those feelings after months of feeling betrayed by Lexa’s actions that fateful day.

“I hope so,” Lexa agreed in the same hopeless voice. She extended her hand, and if they were going to shake hands, but when Clarke reached out to meet her, she gripped the other girl’s forearm. Lexa’s hand on her own arm was firm, but still soft. “May we meet again.”

Clarke looked Lexa in the eye for a moment. Her heart was still stuck in her throat. Was she really going to do this? After everything she had been put through at Lexa’s hand? As she stared into those glassy green eyes, so vulnerable before her, she thought of Lexa’s promise to her. _I swear a fealty to you. I vow to treat your needs as my own._ Before she could talk herself out of it, Clarke leaned in to kiss her. Lexa was startled at first but quickly relaxed into the kiss, reaching up to caress Clarke’s hair. She leaned away just enough to see the dazed expression on Lexa’s face. Their eyes met again and before Clarke could brush away the delicate trail of tears on Lexa’s cheek, she leaned in for another kiss. This one was more passionate and breathier than the last, and they found themselves swaying gently back and forth as Clarke unfastened Lexa’s shirt with no trouble at all. She’d thought about it enough times the past few days to know how it came undone.

She was able to push Lexa back onto her bed. There was a certain irony to the situation- here was the most powerful woman on the ground, who could effortlessly kill anyone in an instant, and yet, Lexa sat among the furs and looked up with Clarke with adoring, bright eyes. So pliable underneath an artist’s hand. Her mouth hung open ever so slightly and Clarke knew that she felt as vulnerable as she looked. She also knew that doing this would only make it that much more difficult to leave afterwards, but it was impossible to resist when Lexa was looking at her like that. Apparently remembering her role as Commander of the Thirteen Armies, Lexa didn’t allow her the choice. Her hand found hold at the back of Clarke’s neck, pulling her down on top of her and consuming her completely. 

\----

“We’ll work something out,” Clarke assured as they were getting dressed. “I could get Octavia to deliver letters to you.”

“That’s too risky,” Lexa protested as she pulled on her shirt. “If they contained sensitive information-”

“Sensitive information about how I feel about you?” Clarke teased, grinning. Lexa didn’t smile back, but there was a curious glint in her eyes.

“They don’t know that. They’d see it as an act of treason, they’d punish you, or Octavia. It would be better if we had a rendezvous point where we can… keep each other informed,” Lexa replied, serious as ever, even as she struggled to tie her shirt at the back. 

“Remember that place where that pauna attacked us? That’s romantic, right?” Clarke suggested, taking the loose ends of the shirt from Lexa’s hands and tying them together. She took the opportunity to press another kiss to Lexa’s exposed neck. Lexa turned around and shoved her back lightheartedly. 

“Come on, be serious! We only have a few minutes to figure everything out, least of all our feelings for each other,” Lexa reminded her urgently. Her voice was stern, but she was fighting against a smile. Even though Clarke was just as stressed about leaving Polis so suddenly, she couldn’t help but be a little silly- she hadn’t felt this giddy since… well, it had been a long time, if ever. 

“Okay, you’re right,” Clarke relented, taking a seat in a chair a few feet away to control herself. “In all seriousness, that compound might be the perfect place. It’s discreet, and it’s secure. Even if someone found us, we could defend ourselves.”

Lexa paused, considering it. This was the Lexa that most people were most familiar with. The strategist. 

“We’ll meet there tomorrow night, and then we’ll find somewhere safer, alright?” Lexa agreed reluctantly. 

“So soon?” Clarke asked, grinning. But there was no amusement on Lexa’s face. 

“I have to make sure you’re safe. If I don’t hear word of your arrival by midnight, I will have the blockade-”

“Lexa,” Clarke interrupted, before she got carried away. The last thing her people needed was another threat from the Grounders. “Would you like to escort me back to Arkadia? You can take me as far as the blockade, my people will be none the wiser. It’ll be pretty dark by the time we make it that far.”

“I would like that,” Lexa agreed. 

\---

“We’re almost there,” Lexa announced as they neared the front of the blockade. “Are you nervous?”

“A little,” Clarke admitted. “I’m not sure how they’ll accept my arrival, or even if I’ll be able to command them anymore.”

“You saved them Clarke,” Lexa reminded her. “They will not turn their backs on you.”

Once they could see Arkadia, they halted their horses. Octavia, who had been trailing a safe distance behind them for most of the journey (to avoid puking over the side of her horse, in her words), pushed ahead of them.

“Keep it quick this time,” she warned, as she dismounted her horse. Clarke flashed her a look, and bit back a snarky comment about the times that Octavia had been… preoccupied with Lincoln. “I can’t cover for you forever.”

“Until we meet again,” Clarke said to Lexa with a knowing smile. Lexa nodded, her face stoic as ever. It was as if they had never made love earlier that day. Clarke wondered how she maintained such rigid control over her emotions.

“Good luck, Wanheda,” Lexa replied, bowing her head. Clarke smiled stiffly and dismounted her horse, passing the reins to Lexa. Though she wasn’t fond of the name Wanheda and what it meant to her, it sounded almost poetic on Lexa’s lips, so she let it slide.

\---

Surely enough, Clarke was met with a general sense of apprehension, especially from those she knew to oppose the alliance between themselves and the Grounders (which seemed like most of the Sky people these days). She sought out any familiar faces in the crowd, and while she knew their names, she hardly recognized many of them. Their faces were sullen and hopeless, and she knew her recent absence was to blame for it.

“Clarke,” said an unforgettable voice- her mother’s. Clarke turned her head towards the voice and ran out to hug her mother, an embrace she’d sorely missed while she’d been at Polis. Abby was followed by Kane, who also put his arms around her, and while she’d had her differences with him, she welcomed him as well. Soon, a group so large that Clarke couldn’t see past the first row of heads, was putting their arms around each other in a brilliant display of loyalty that brought tears to Clarke’s eyes.

“Clarke,” said another voice, this one new. The group broke apart to reveal Chancellor Pike. She’d never met him, but she could tell by his authoritative tone and stance that he saw her as a threat. “You think you can just walk in here and everything will go back to the way it was? After you left your people behind for months, to keep company with the _enemy?_ ”

“Pike, she’s just a kid,” Abby protested. While Clarke appreciated the support, she hated being reduced to “just a kid”. She kept her mouth shut though- arguing would only reinforce her mother’s point. 

“She can stay here, don’t get me wrong,” Pike said, as if Clarke wasn’t standing right there. As if he were being _gracious_ by allowing her to return to the people who had followed her to hell and back. _Her_ people. “But don’t let her think that she’ll be able to resume an active leadership role here anymore. And she'll be subject to questioning, obviously.”

For the time being, that was all Clarke could ask for. She knew better than to pick a fight so soon- Lexa’s ability to strategize before acting was starting to rub off on her. There wasn’t much time left in the day, and Clarke used that time to lay low and catch up with her old friends. This was mostly to get a sense of how things were being operated at Arkadia (these attempts were mostly fruitless, getting lost in the sea of petty gossip she was being drowned in), and to keep from drawing more attention to herself than she already had.

From what she was able to glean from her friends’ stories, she had learned of Lincoln’s unjust imprisonment, Pike’s ambitious farming plans, and Bellamy’s recent insatiable thirst for Grounder blood. 

She was going to have her work cut out for her if she was going to restore peace within the walls of Arkadia. 

\---

The next day went by slowly. Clarke was unaccustomed to being at the bottom of the hierarchy among the Skaikru, and while she didn’t mind the simple tasks that she was put to do, she couldn’t help but feel like she had more important things to do. That her talents could be better utilized in other areas. The mindlessness of food preparation and water purification allowed her mind to wander. While physically, she was at Arkadia, her heart was at Polis, and the thought of meeting Lexa that night made the day go by even slower.

She hardly recognized the place her people had colonized. The new name was the least of these changes. Raven seemed more stubborn than usual, hellbent on hiding the obvious pain she was in. Bellamy was avoiding her. Gardens within the walls grew a variety of vegetables and legumes. There were new faces, some that she recognized from the Ark and some that she didn’t, and there were old faces that were missing- most notably Jasper. That was probably for the best. She knew how much he appreciated life at Mount Weather (before the harvesting began, of course), and knew that what transpired there would’ve broken him. Like it had broken her.

Finally, the sun set and most of her people were retreating to their bunks. Abby had arranged a place for Clarke to sleep in her bunk, which Clarke appreciated. Their old living quarters that they had shared with her father had been destroyed when the Ark crashed down to the ground, but all the rooms were identical, so it still felt familiar. She hadn’t shared a room with her mother since before even landing on the ground, and she had missed the comfort of it. And luckily for her, Abby was a heavy sleeper, so Clarke’s absence wouldn’t be noticed.

She sought out Octavia, who she knew had snuck out several times before. By now, she was something of an expert at it. Clarke was reluctant to go to her for such a request, since the younger girl had been relatively unaccepting of her relationship with Lexa. Octavia’s bunk wasn’t far from her own, and with Bellamy taking a shift with the guard, Clarke knew that she would be alone.

“Octavia, I need your help,” Clarke whispered into the darkness. Octavia stirred from her sleep and gave her a cold, calculating stare through groggy eyes.

“You’re sneaking out already?” Octavia asked incredulously, though there wasn’t any malice in her whisper. “Is that really a good idea?”

“Probably not,” Clarke agreed. Octavia grinned as much as her still-swollen face would allow. It gave Clarke hope that even after the bitter betrayal at TonDC, that maybe their friendship could be repaired. After all, she had forgiven Lexa.

“Say no more,” Octavia replied as she got to her feet. She led Clarke to a narrow, dimly lit hallway, and pulled back a section of the wall, ushering her through. “This opens on both sides, but try to be back well before sunrise so that you don’t get caught sneaking back in. And don’t forget about the kill order. Just because you’re the Commander’s pet, doesn’t mean they won’t kill you if they get the chance.”

“Thank you,” Clarke said. She knew Octavia was right about the blockade, but she also knew that the Grounders were painfully aware of the fact that Lexa would not hesitate to ruthlessly decapitate anyone who laid a finger on her. “I owe you one.”

“Yeah you do,” Octavia agreed. “Now hurry up and go before someone hears us.”

Clarke slipped through the gap in the wall and found herself crawling through a tunnel that led to outside of the camp. When she emerged, she found herself face to face with the blockade. Her heart jumped into her throat and her mind scrambled to grab hold of any excuse that would explain her presence in a way that wouldn’t be conspicuous. She opened her mouth to explain herself to the Grounder soldiers, but they moved aside for her without a word. 

“Heda’s orders,” one of the soldiers grunted, observing the confused look on Clarke’s face, even in the darkness. “Safe passage, Wanheda.”

She arrived at the compound shortly before Lexa did, sitting alone in the darkness atop a concrete block. The body of the pauna was nowhere to be found, which was unsettling, but she told herself that something else likely used it as food, which wasn’t really a comforting thought either.

As usual, she didn’t hear Lexa’s approach, so when she saw a figure emerging through the trees, she was startled for a second before she realized who it was. She rose to her feet, and watched as Lexa drew closer and closer until they were in each other’s arms at last.

Lexa pulled away first, lifting a hand to Clarke’s hair and searching her face for any sign of injury or distress. It was protective, but it was tender, and Clarke leaned into her touch without hesitation. 

“I’ve gotten used to having you around,” Lexa commented softly. “It feels strange without you at Polis.”

“I’ve missed you too,” Clarke replied sadly. “I wish everyone could just get along. Why is it always so difficult?” 

“It’s only temporary,” Lexa reminded her calmly. “Once your people dethrone Chancellor Pike, you can return to Polis with me, if you’d like.”

“That might take a while,” Clarke admitted grimly, though she was already starting to miss her almost royal lifestyle back at the city. “I didn’t realize how actively my people supported him. He’s using your people as a scapegoat, blaming mostly you for what transpired at Mount Weather.”

“Are you saying we need to come up with a new plan?” Lexa asked, bristling at the edges.

“I don’t know,” Clarke confessed. “I just need a bit more time to assess the situation.”

“My people will not be happy about this. They’re getting impatient as is,” Lexa sighed, looking up at the tree canopy, as if some of her warriors would be perched in their branches. “But trust that these conversations are in confidance. No one knows I’m here.” 

“I don’t like the idea of you keeping secrets from your people,” Clarke protested, all too familiar with what happened the last time that Lexa shared secrets with her lover. Was that what they were? Lovers? Their history was complicated, and their relationship was tumultuous, to say the least.

“We don’t have much of a choice, do we?” Lexa replied before Clarke could spiral too much on that thought. “Come on, let’s talk about something else.”

“Okay,” Clarke agreed, all too happy to have her mind taken off Costia. “How are things at Polis?”

“Tense,” Lexa admitted, starting to walk away from where they had met. Clarke fell into stride with her easily. “There are times when I’m so tempted to go back to the way things were, but no one likes change, do they?”

“I guess not,” Clarke said, familiar with the uphill battle of trying to change the minds of dozens, let alone the thousands that Lexa influenced. “But years from now, they’ll look back at you and they’ll celebrate your name as the one who brought peace. Isn’t that worth it?”

Clarke slipped her hand into Lexa’s and squeezed gently. Lexa smiled at the gesture and took a deep breath to steady herself. 

“So, what kind of place are we looking for?” Clarke asked, attempting to lighten the conversation once again. “Guess the pauna corpse wasn’t romantic enough for the mighty Heda, was it?”

Lexa never laughed, but she did roll her eyes and smile in a way that made Clarke sure that she had found it at least a little funny. 

“You’re mistaken,” Lexa commented. “I don’t care where we are, as long as we’re together. However, meeting together where we almost died isn’t exactly... ideal. It would draw too much suspicion if one of us got hurt when we secretly meet like this.”

“I think you’re missing the point,” Clarke said, stopping in her tracks and taking both of Lexa’s hands. “I don’t know about you, but this is where I first realized that maybe there was something more between us.”

“Really? Even when I was so weak?” Lexa asked incredulously.

“Especially because you were so weak,” Clarke replied with a huff of a laugh. “It made me realize you were more than just the Commander. That you’re more than just some tough facade, more than the girl who had just left one of her own people to die in the woods… for me.” 

“Clarke,” Lexa said, looking down and blushing. “You’re flattering me. But I would prefer if you could choose a different moment.”

“Well, there was also the time when you came into my room after you fought Roan, wearing that dress- was that on purpose? Because you looked stunning, by the way,” Clarke pondered out loud with a smirk on her face. “And I thought you were the bravest and most tenacious person I had ever met, and yet you were so vulnerable that night. And of course, pledging your loyalty to me helped a lot, so, keep that going.”

“You like it when I’m vulnerable?” Lexa asked, perplexed even though she was smiling too. “That doesn’t make sense.”

“I like that you feel comfortable enough around me to be so vulnerable,” Clarke explained with a little shrug. “It can’t be easy to keep your walls up all the time, can it?”

“It isn’t,” Lexa agreed, the smile fading. She didn’t elaborate, and Clarke didn’t push. 

As they made their way through the trees, Clarke was impressed by the way Lexa seemed to know her way around every inch of these woods, despite being so far from her home. She remembered that Lexa likely grew up among these trees, learning to climb and fight with Anya, probably just as committed back then to her role as a visionary as she was currently. 

“How about this place?” Clarke asked as the forest thinned into a rocky terrain that then gave way to a cliff that overlooked a valley of more trees. They could see for miles, and the clear view of the sky would alert them when they had been away for too long. Lexa hummed in agreement, and they found a place to sit on a boulder that seemed as if it had been shaped by some higher power just to be sat on. 

“I knew that I had feelings for you long before the pauna,” Lexa announced after a comfortable moment of silence. Clarke’s breath hitched involuntarily- it wasn’t often that Lexa talked about her feelings so openly, and she was ready to hang onto every word. “I was inspired when you chose to take Finn’s life yourself- a cruel act of mercy, that must’ve been an impossible choice for you. I have been drawn to your loyalty and your spirit ever since.”

A large part of Clarke was still raw over Finn’s death, but the way that Lexa spoke of it was so peaceful and respectful that Clarke couldn’t help but feel a little more at peace with what had transpired that fateful night. 

“Really? It took me killing my ex to get you to like me? I didn’t take you for the morbidly jealous type,” Clarke teased, and Lexa rolled her eyes. “Can you pick a different moment?”

“Now it is _you_ who is missing the point,” Lexa pointed out smugly. 

“Now we’re even,” Clarke said, leaning in to press a kiss to Lexa’s cheek quickly. “But seriously, please pick another moment that wasn’t such a traumatizing one.”

“There is no other,” Lexa asserted stubbornly. “I understand why you hated me after what happened at Mount Weather, but my feelings for you never faltered. I never expected that you could change your mind about me… but I’m glad you did.”

“I’m glad too,” Clarke whispered, leaning over and catching Lexa’s lips in a kiss. It was slow and warm, and she felt Lexa’s hands find her hips. There was no urgency in their movements, only comfort. Clarke could feel the gentle stir of Lexa’s breathing on her cheeks, and could drown in the earthy forest scent that seemed to follow wherever Lexa went. The air was cold around them but together, they were warm, and even as their lips broke apart, their foreheads rested against each other in the sanctuary they had created for themselves.

“When do you need to leave?” Lexa breathed, slowly leaning away to meet Clarke’s gaze.

“Stop asking me that,” Clarke whined, but Lexa’s gaze remained sober despite the intoxicating moment they had just shared. “I have to be back before sunrise.”

Lexa didn’t say anything, but looked out at the horizon before them. It would be a few hours still before the sun came up, but Clarke knew Lexa would have to leave soon if she were to make it to Polis before her people, particularly Titus, would start to be suspicious of their Commander’s absence. 

“Tell me you’re going to be alright,” Lexa sighed after some time. Clarke met her gaze, and in the darkness she could make out the worry that weighed down her features. “I want to trust you, I want to give your people the benefit of the doubt, but I’ve seen what they’re doing to those who oppose their views on my kind.” 

“I can protect myself,” Clarke insisted, giving Lexa’s hand a reassuring squeeze where it still rested on her hip. “And besides, there are still a handful of people who still support me. They’ll make sure I’m safe.”

“Is Bellamy one of them?” Lexa wondered out loud, the slightest hint of jealousy in her voice. Clarke paused for a moment. She hadn’t seen Bellamy since she’d tasered him, and surely he wouldn’t have taken that well. 

“I don’t know where he stands,” Clarke admitted. She knew he was never the biggest supporter of an alliance with the Grounders, but she had always been able to convince him of why it was a good idea. But she had to face the facts. It was very possible that too much damage had been done for him to ever trust them, or her, ever again.

“You had faith in him when he was in Mount Weather,” Lexa remarked. “What’s different now?”

“He was part of the group that slaughtered your people,” Clarke confessed bitterly, taking a rock in her hand and tossing it into the valley below. “Even if blood must not have blood, I don’t think I’m ready to forgive him for that.”

“I’m not ready to forgive him either. Banish him,” Lexa suggested. Her voice was stern and Clarke knew she wasn’t joking. All she could do was smile sadly. Bellamy _was_ a loose cannon, and it was getting exhausting having to teach him basic empathy for human life. If it were anyone else, she would banish them. Even if she had that kind of power, she did still have a soft spot for Bellamy- she couldn’t give him the banishment that would be his death sentence. Lexa would definitely consider that kind of bias a weakness- only because she experienced it similarly. 

“I think you’re overestimating my power,” was all Clarke said. “Even before Pike was Chancellor, I wouldn’t have been able to banish anyone.”

“How did you run things before the Ark station came down?” Lexa asked curiously. “Anya told me some things, but not enough.”

“When we first got here, everyone pretty much just did whatever they wanted, against my better judgement,” Clarke explained, feeling rather sheepish as she recounted the events out loud. “Bellamy assumed a leadership position when things started going bad. He wasn’t very wise back then, he still isn’t now, but he made sure that we were safe while we did… well, whatever the hell we wanted. I tried convincing him to make up some plans about how we were going to actually survive down here, and eventually we learned to stop fighting each other and we lead together.”

“So he can respond to reason,” Lexa remarked. Clarke smiled. 

“And now that all the adults are here, I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to do,” Clarke continued with a heavy sigh. “They treat me like I’m just a kid, but they don’t even know half of what I- what all of us- have been through down here.”

“Could you propose another election now that you’ve returned to Arkadia?” Lexa suggested effortlessly, as if she had lifetimes of wisdom within her. “A motion of non confidence? If your people see that you are not comfortable with Pike’s leadership, maybe they will follow suit. They value your judgement, Clarke.”

The idea took flight in Clarke’s brain, and a grin spread across her face as she dared to gain hope. She had felt overwhelmed by the amount of people who came to celebrate her return. Those same people would listen to her. She could explain the current political state of the Grounders, how if they could just be cooperative for once, they wouldn’t have to be so scared all the time. They could even learn from each other. 

“You’re amazing, you know that?” Clarke said, capturing Lexa in a deep kiss. She swung one leg over Lexa’s hips, straddling her where she sat on the rock, and even though it was nothing compared to the comfort of Lexa’s bed, Clarke wasted no time in getting Lexa’s clothes off.


	2. Chapter 2

Clarke made it back to Arkadia unnoticed, and made it back to her mother’s room just in time to get a few hours of sleep. Her mother woke her up shortly after the sun rose, and she smiled up at her, though she was taken aback by the stern look on her face. Had Pike made her this weary, or was it something else?

“Where did you go last night?” Abby demanded. Clarke’s heart skipped. She had been so careful not to wake her both on the way out and on the way back in. “Were you seeing Lexa?”

“Why would you think that?” Clarke asked before revealing anything. Abby reached out and pulled Clarke’s hair to one side, revealing a handful of bruises on her neck. Clarke’s face flushed red, and she immediately covered it again with her hair. She wanted to ask how she knew that it was Lexa who had given her those marks, but Abby still had the upper hand. 

“I’m not going to tell anyone,” Abby assured, though her tone wasn’t comforting in the slightest. “But I want you to know that by sneaking off with her, you’re not only putting your life at risk, but hers too. Not to mention  _ ours! _ What were you even doing out there in the middle of the night?”

Clarke wasn’t about to tell her mother that she’d been making love in the wilderness, clearly Abby had already figured that much out on her own. She went with a more diplomatic answer, like she had seen Lexa do in countless meetings with the other, more unruly members of her coalition. “Trying to figure out a way to restore peace between us and the Grounders.”

Abby looked somewhat relieved by this, and dropped her defenses slightly. The hard line of her mouth softened considerably. She took a seat on the cot beside Clarke, and she could see how  _ tired  _ her mother was. She felt a pang of guilt for being so selfish in her absence, though she couldn’t really see a way that she could’ve stayed in Arkadia after what happened at Mount Weather. Even after all this time had passed, she was still reminded of what she’d done everywhere she looked. Everyone was there because of what she had done, for better or for worse. To be fair, Polis hadn’t been much better, at first. Everything was about Lexa. Everything reminded her of the bitter betrayal she had experienced at her hand. And to add insult to injury, Lexa had been  _ right.  _ Polis  _ did  _ change the way she saw the Grounders, even after all she had suffered at their hands. 

It wasn’t all suffering. Polis had turned out to be the perfect sanctuary for her.

“And? Did you come up with anything?” Abby pressed, drawing Clarke from her thoughts. How long had she been lost in her thoughts? Too long, apparently. Abby’s voice was hopeful and desperate, and Clarke knew it would take no convincing for her to get on board with the idea of another election.

“Lexa suggested that I try to call another election now that I’m here in Arkadia,” Clarke revealed proudly. “The people who remain of the original hundred that came down here, they’ll follow me to the ends of the earth. I know it.”

Abby didn’t immediately jump on board with her idea, and Clarke flew through dozens of emotions in the time it took her mother to respond to her idea.  _ Does she really think this could fail? Could it? Or does she think I’m not capable of pulling it off? What if I can’t?  _ The seconds dragged between them, and what was likely a very reasonable amount of time, was agonizing. 

“You’d have to stay here if you won,” Abby said finally. “For better or for worse, you’d have to be here. No more running off for months at a time. No more long stays at Polis.” 

Clarke paused. She hadn’t considered the possibility that she could actually  _ win  _ the election. She never aspired to have an active role in leadership- it just kind of… happened. No one else on the ground would be responsible, so she had to be. No one else would call out Bellamy when he was getting too headstrong, so she had to. And now, with no one advocating for peace between themselves and the people they need to survive on this earth… she has to. She was tired of it all, though. Tired of being responsible. Tired of being expected to act like she has all the answers, while simultaneously being reduced to “just a kid”. Tired of putting others’ needs before her own (especially when the  _ others  _ were so unappreciative of her sacrifices, ignorant of just how  _ many  _ sacrifices she’s made). 

_ Maybe one day, you and I will owe nothing more to our people. _

“I don’t have to win,” Clarke pointed out with a heavy sigh. “I just have to make sure Pike doesn’t.”

“If you want me on board with your little plan, I need to hear you say you’ll accept whatever consequences of this election,” Abby warned, still refusing to let her guard down completely with Clarke. She understood why. Things had been tense between them, ever since she had found out that Wells wasn’t the reason her father was executed, and the tension had only increased once Abby’s arrival on the ground. They were close once. Now it seemed like the only thing they had in common was how stubborn they were, particularly when it came to each other. Not the best foundation for a healthy relationship. 

“My people come first.” Clarke forced each word out against her weary heart. She needed her mother’s support. She needed this plan to work. 

“Good,” Abby said approvingly. Her shoulders dropped so dramatically that Clarke wondered how she hadn’t seen just how tightly her mother had been wound up. “This might actually work.”

\---

When she inevitably bumped into Bellamy, it was just as uncomfortable as she would’ve expected. When he looked down at her, there was no form of warm recognition in his eyes, just unmistakeable betrayal and disappointment. She stood her ground, refused to shrink away even as he loomed over her. Clearly, he was still feeling hurt by her, not just by the electrocution. 

“You’re here to try and convince me to change my mind about supporting Pike again, right?” Bellamy assumed, crossing his arms across his chest. Clarke almost,  _ almost,  _ wondered if he had somehow been spying on her earlier conversation with her mother, but it was obvious why she was back at Arkadia after everything that had happened recently. He would’ve said the same thing regardless of when she had run into him. 

“I was actually just on my way to help out with some chores,” Clarke corrected. Bellamy didn’t say anything, just kept staring at her, as if daring her to continue talking. She set her jaw. This conversation would never be an easy one, but she needed to win him over if she was going to get to the rest of her people. “But since you’re here anyways... You’re wrong about them, Bellamy. Why the sudden change of heart?”

“You’re asking  _ me _ about the sudden change of heart?” Bellamy demanded, his eyes catching fire. “You’re the one who willingly stayed at Polis after Lexa betrayed all of us, and had a bounty put on your head when you tried to escape what you had to do.”

“She was protecting her people,” Clarke snarled defensively. Originally, she had wanted to have this conversation in private, on her terms- she could feel other people staring at them. But she would not stand to have her actions questioned, least of all by Bellamy. 

“Maybe she was, but having you kidnapped by the Ice Nation had nothing to do with that,” Bellamy said in a more resigned tone. “Have you forgotten all that they’ve done to us?”

“Have you forgotten everything we did to them?” Clarke pointed out, a fire raging inside her. “If anyone is in the wrong, it’s our people. They may have killed some of us, but we’ve killed thousands of them! They want peace, Bellamy. We just have to agree with them.”

“Do you trust them?” Bellamy asked. “Not Lexa- do you trust her people?”

“Yes,” Clarke said with absolute confidence. While there were some who questioned Lexa’s judgement, Clarke had seen at Polis that the majority of Grounders adored their Commander, and if Lexa insisted on peaceful coexistence, then they would follow suit. She hadn’t had enough time to really make friends with the civilians of Polis, but those who staffed the tower had been nothing but kind to her, even when she was being vile about accepting Lexa’s apparently much needed help. Not to mention Lincoln, who had sacrificed so much to protect Octavia. The actions of a few couldn’t speak for an entire group, for better or for worse, but Clarke was an optimist. If Lexa was so committed to protecting these people, there had to be good within them.

There was a long silence between them. A crowd had now formed around them where they had been yelling at each other just moments ago. The silence was heavy on top of everyone. It was so important for him to take her side in front of these people, and Clarke’s heart pounded as she waited nervously for him to respond. Now Bellamy wouldn’t meet her eyes, rather staring at the ground with a furrowed brow. The rage that had been boiling inside him had visibly reduced to a simmer. 

“You pulled that lever with me at Mount Weather,” Clarke reminded him in a softer voice. “You took that leap of faith with me, even though you knew the aftermath would be devastating. Now I’m giving you a chance to take another leap of faith with me, and this time, the aftermath will be  _ good.  _ Peaceful, even!”

“What if you’re wrong?” he replied, his voice ragged. She was reminded of her mother, so reluctant to just trust her, but he was starting to break, and Clarke could see it.

“If I’m wrong… you can be the first to tell me I told you so,” Clarke promised. “I’d even bring you with me to kill Lexa, if she betrays us again.” 

This got Bellamy’s attention. He even smiled. Clarke was confident that it would never come to that, but she could tell that he needed to hear that. That despite her obvious feelings for Lexa, she was still capable of doing what needed to be done for her people. Besides, if it did come down to having to kill Lexa, she knew she wouldn’t be able to do it alone. This also earned the approval of the crowd that had formed around them- Clarke felt the air get sucked away from her as the crowd took a collective gasp.

“Now you’re speaking my language,” Bellamy relented. Finally, Clarke was seeing the Bellamy that she had once known to be a good friend. She let out the breath that she’d been holding and hugged him, and he hesitated for only a moment before he hugged her back.

\---

Everything was going according to plan. With the support of her mother, and now Bellamy, Clarke was feeling invincible. There was one more person she needed to speak with before she could call for another election. The one who she  _ really  _ wanted to see win. 

She found him in the dimly lit control room of the Ark station. Most of the original equipment had been destroyed when the station crashed on the ground, and what couldn’t be used had been discarded or repurposed. There were still some items that were functional, mostly just small things like radios and headsets, so the control room was used as more of a meeting space, or occasionally, workspace for planning a coup. Marcus Kane was using the space for the latter. He looked up with alarm when he heard the door open, but as soon as he noticed that it was her, he relaxed in his chair, letting his pencil fall onto the table in front of him.

“Clarke,” he greeted fondly, smiling at her. “It’s good to have you back. I’m just sorry it couldn’t be under happier circumstances.” 

“Me too,” Clarke agreed somewhat bitterly, taking a seat on the table top. She glanced down at the papers in front of Marcus, but whatever he was working on, he didn’t have much to show for it. “What’s this?”

“Not much,” Marcus admitted. “I’ve been wracking my brain to find some way out of this that doesn’t end with those Grounders closing in on us and wiping us out, but with every day that passes, I start to think, maybe we deserve it.”

“Hey,” Clarke started in a comforting tone, with every intention of telling him he was wrong to say that, but she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t thought the same thing when she and Lexa had stumbled upon the bodies of three hundred innocent Grounders who were killed in their sleep. “We  _ will  _ figure something out. That’s why Lexa let me come back here, instead of keeping me as a prisoner of war. She believed that we could still redeem ourselves.”

“Well, if you have any ideas, I’d love to hear them,” Marcus replied hopelessly. “Even if the blockade doesn’t do anything, I’m worried that we might be on the verge of a civil war within these walls.” 

“Well, that’s why I came to talk to you, actually,” Clarke admitted. “What would I have to do to start a motion of non confidence?”

“I thought about doing the same thing after Pike got elected,” Marcus replied. “But we have to respect our own democracy. I asked the people to choose who they wanted to lead them, and they did.”

“But I didn’t run in the last election,” Clarke explained. “People follow me. Especially the people who first came to the ground with me- they accept me as their leader, and if I told them I wanted a chance to be considered for a leadership role here, they’d support me in it. Now, I know what you’re thinking,  _ I’m just a kid,  _ or whatever, right? But I don’t actually need to win. I just need to get enough votes to take away from those who still think Pike is the right leader for us. I’d like to think that after everything he’s done, people will realize that  _ you’re  _ the rightful Chancellor.” 

Marcus looked down and smiled at her spirited response. It was clear that his confidence was shaken by the previous election results, which only inspired Clarke’s cause more. While he hadn’t been her favourite on the council back on the Ark, he had grown on her since his arrival on the ground, and she had come to trust him. Accepting the brand of the coalition made her realize that he was their best shot at achieving peace with the Grounders.

“I changed Bellamy’s mind,” Clarke revealed. Marcus’ gaze shot up to meet hers. “If I can change his mind, I can change anyone’s.” 

Marcus paused, considering this. Bellamy was a force to be reckoned with when it came to rallying the people of Arkadia, particularly when she could work  _ together  _ with him, rather than against him. 

“It might not be wise to hold another election so soon after the last,” Marcus protested weakly, but Clarke could tell he was running out of excuses. 

“It’s more wise than whatever Pike is planning next,” Clarke countered, and Marcus held back a laugh. “Besides, we don’t have a choice. If we don’t overthrow Pike, they will wipe out everything.”

“Okay, I’ll help you,” he relented. The idea was starting to become a reality, and hope flared in Clarke’s chest where it had originally burned with anger at the injustices her people had been executing in her absence.

\---

It had been days since she had met up with Lexa that night. 

Clarke was laying on her cot under a thin wool blanket, staring up at the ceiling above her. She couldn’t sleep. All she could think of was what she was missing at Polis. Was Lexa kept up by questions about her too? They had no way of keeping each other updated on their daily affairs. They wouldn’t meet again until a week had passed, which wouldn’t be for another two days. So much had happened in that short amount of time. She had spoken to almost all of her old friends at some point or another, everyone was responding positively to her idea of calling another election. Many of the people who had voted for Charles originally had come to regret their decision after seeing how trigger happy he seemed to be when it came to the other people they shared the ground with, even going as far as to call him a fascist. If she could just fall asleep, she would be one night closer to being able to share the good news with Lexa.

With a frustrated huff, she decided to get some fresh air. She didn’t use the hole in the wall that Octavia had shown her- she didn’t want to risk drawing any attention to it. Better that it only be used when it actually  _ needed  _ to be. Besides, she didn’t need to go far. Seeing the open sky above her and feeling the cool air on her face always settled her mind, and she could do that within the walls of Arkadia.

Wrapped up in that thin wool blanket, she sat on the trampled grass outside and gazed up at the millions of stars glittering above her. She almost couldn’t believe that she used to live  _ among  _ them. It felt like a lifetime ago. 

“I’m surprised  _ you  _ can’t sleep,” said a voice from behind her. She jumped to her feet, letting the blanket fall to the ground. It was Charles Pike. “Looks like you’ve been pretty busy the past few days. Talking to people.”

“There’s a lot to catch up on,” Clarke replied with a shrug, feigning nonchalance. “I haven’t seen some of these people since even before Mount Weather- I couldn’t believe it when I heard there were actually survivors from the Farm Station. I just wish circumstances had been kinder to you all.”

She was playing into his story, his incredibly biased justification for his vendetta against the Grounders. She knew he would never change his mind about them, but she also knew he would lock her up at the slightest hint of her undermining his authority. She had to play her cards close to her chest. 

“Yeah, me too,” Charles agreed, but there was still a heavy amount of skepticism in his tone. “I do have one question for you, Clarke Griffin.”

“What is it?” Clarke asked innocently. 

“Do I look stupid to you?” he hissed. Clarke’s facade dropped like a hat. She held back the first answer that came to her mind, and in her moment of hesitation, he continued. “Do you really think I wouldn’t find out that you’ve been running around here trying to convince people to overthrow me? That I wouldn’t suspect such a thing to be your entire reason for coming back here?” 

“If you’re so suspicious of me, why don’t you throw me in your little prison with everyone else that stood up to you?” Clarke fired back, knowing that with each word she spoke, it was likely sounding like an even better idea to him. 

“Because I’m  _ not  _ stupid,” Charles insisted. “If I detained you, I’d have a mutiny on my hands. But know this: in case you haven’t noticed, I have guards on me around the clock. You might not be able to see them, but they’re always there.”

To prove his point, he gestured to the rover that was parked a couple yards away. At first, Clarke couldn’t see anything, but as she looked closer, she noticed a person nestled in amongst the packs tied down on top, with a rifle trained on her.

“If you even  _ think  _ about making an attempt on my life to take me out of the picture...,” Charles warned. “Well, I’m always one step ahead of you. Plain and simple.”

_ Maybe not always,  _ Clarke thought to herself, but she didn’t let her smugness show on her face. 

“Fair enough,” Clarke said. She offered out her hand. “I promise I won’t try to assassinate you.” 

“Well, forgive me for not believing that promise,” Charles replied dismissively. He crossed his arms, rejecting Clarke’s handshake. “Curfew was three hours ago. Report back to your bunk.”

\---

By the time the election actually came around, there were too many people supporting Clarke for Charles to object to it  _ and _ maintain his authority over the people. The only card he had in his hand was that people had voted for him, and by compromising the fundamentals of democracy, he would lose the shred of credibility he had. It had only been five days since Clarke’s arrival and yet, people were naturally drawn back to her command, even those who hadn’t been in the original faction to have landed on the ground. She had been shocked by the amount of people who had approached her to tell her that they had voted for her, and was starting to believe there was a strong possibility that she would win the election and have to stay in Arkadia. The thought made her stomach twist nervously, but it was better than the idea of Charles winning and continuing his xenophobic attacks on the Grounders. 

Octavia was assigned with the task of counting the votes. They needed an impartial third party to perform the task, and within the walls of Arkadia, she was as close as they could get. As she counted, Clarke had to sit on her hands to keep from chewing her nails. Marcus paced back and forth along the far wall of the control room. Charles was sitting with his arms crossed (though Clarke suspected he wasn’t fighting off a nail biting habit), looking around at his subordinates as if to try and predetermine who everyone had voted for. Abby seemed to be the only candidate remaining calm during the vote. 

“The votes are in,” Octavia finally announced, and before she even read the results out loud, Clarke knew she had nothing to worry about. There was a smug look in her eyes when her gaze landed on Charles. “It looks like Kane is going to be the commander from now on.”

Most of the sky people cheered, excluding Charles’ most loyal followers of course. Clarke beamed as Marcus emerged from the crowd to join Octavia in front of them all. Standing beside Marcus, Clarke realized just how  _ young  _ Octavia really was. It was easy to forget- Octavia had been hardened quickly by the harsh realities of living on the ground, but she had adapted to it better than anyone else. Clarke may have helped negotiate peace with the Grounders, but if Octavia hadn’t advocated so strongly for Lincoln when Bellamy was torturing him, they probably would’ve never seen any good in the Grounders at all. It was pretty difficult to overcome their first impression when they had impaled Jasper, even Clarke could admit that much. 

“I guess I should’ve put more thought into an acceptance speech, huh,” Marcus said, eliciting a laugh from his audience. “Things are going to go back to the way things were. The way they rightfully should be. I’m going to talk with the Commander as soon as possible to remove the blockade surrounding our camp, and from there, we’ll hopefully be able to renegotiate some treaties. We’ll finally have some freedom back.”

Clarke felt a rush of relief at his words. If their people would be permitted to rejoin the coalition, Clarke would be able to resume her position as an ambassador at Polis. She could go back to being with Lexa. 

“Those imprisoned in the holding cell will be pardoned, effective immediately,” Marcus resumed, to which Octavia alone cheered the loudest. Marcus jumped a little at her shrill cry, to which everyone laughed again. There was a definite exuberance to the crowd, it was as if the clouds had finally parted to reveal the warmest of sunny days. “Finally, I will be launching an investigation into the war crimes committed by Pike and his people, who will be detained until we come to a conclusion about our findings.”

The bitter bewilderment on Charles’ face could be seen from a mile away, and Clarke relished in it. She almost wondered if his faction would retaliate against Marcus. Luckily, most of that party were members of the guard, who were not permitted in the control room during the election for that very reason. All weapons had been left outside, and now that Marcus was the Chancellor, the guard would have to respect his authority, or face the consequences. Even though Marcus had become infinitely more compassionate in the past few months, no one could forget that he’d had Abby, his closest companion, brutally punished in front of everyone for letting prisoners escape.

For the first time in weeks, Clarke felt proud of her people.

\---

Clarke didn’t get much sleep that night, she was practically buzzing with excitement. Even once she fell asleep, she couldn’t stay asleep for very long. She’d wake up and check the tiny window in her room for any sign of light, and then eventually drift off again for another half hour. As soon as the sky brightened the slightest amount at the horizon, she jumped out of bed. She wore a cloak that Lexa had given her while she was at Polis, one that would cover her head and keep her warm in the early morning temperatures. She was always cold- so the gift was much appreciated.

As she made her way to the cliff, their new rendezvous point, Clarke heard another set of footsteps among the trees and she froze. She instantly wished she had brought a weapon more substantial than just a dagger with her. However, when she stopped in her tracks, so did the other footsteps, so perhaps she was imagining things. She continued walking.

As she walked, she could definitely distinguish between two sets of footsteps. She looked around and saw another figure in the woods- also frozen. It was still dark, and they were too far away to make out any identifying features, which was troublesome to Clarke. The person was definitely a Grounder, and there was still a kill order on any Skaikru people found outside the blockade, none more tantalizing than the legendary  _ Wanheda _ . She wasn’t sure if she’d be able to take this person if they tried to attack her.

But as she stared at the other person like a deer in the headlights, the figure dropped their shoulders and disappeared into the trees. Eventually, the footsteps grew softer and softer, then ceased altogether. Perhaps it was just a coincidence that there was someone else in the woods at the same time as her. Comforted, Clarke let her guard down.

Big mistake.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, she was thrown to the ground, landing face-down with a thud, and before she could even scream, the wind was knocked out of her lungs. She was viciously flipped onto her back with a knife pressed to her throat. It took a moment for her vision to return and for her lungs to fill with air, but when she could see clearly again, she was sure she was concussed.

“Lexa?” Clarke asked incredulously as she was met with the face of her assailant. Immediately, Lexa’s knife fell to the ground beside Clarke’s head as she released her hold on her, thoroughly humiliated and afraid.

“I’m so sorry,” Lexa whispered, cupping Clarke’s face with much gentler hands that trembled like leaves. “I saw you from a distance but I didn’t recognise you, and when I saw you walking towards our spot, I-”

“Don’t worry about it,” Clarke assured, reaching up to caress Lexa’s cheek. “It’s kind of weird being on the receiving end of your fury. Maybe Pike was right- you Grounders really  _ are  _ vicious.”

Lexa let out a short laugh, and let gravity pull her body down to settle on top of Clarke. The weight of her was comforting, and the pure panic that she had experienced just seconds ago was already long forgotten. 

“Clarke, you’ve seen nothing of my fury,” Lexa pointed out in a low, seductive voice as she gazed down at her. She picked up the knife she had dropped, and gently dragged the tip of it along Clarke’s jaw. Clarke couldn’t help the shiver that rattled her spine. “However, if you find it within yourself to sympathize with that monster, I assure you, you will know nothing  _ but  _ my fury.”

“Noted,” Clarke choked out against the lump in her throat and the pounding heat growing between her legs. Satisfied, Lexa rolled off of Clarke and stood up, extending her hand to help her up. Clarke took a second to catch her breath before taking Lexa at the forearm and pulling herself to her feet. “Lucky for you, I come bearing good news about that whole situation.”

“Do tell,” Lexa prompted with a raised brow. A knowing smile tugged at the corners of her lips ever so slightly. Clarke twined her fingers between Lexa’s as they walked through the trees. She was almost glad that Lexa had found her (despite her aggressive greeting), because it was difficult to navigate the forest in the dark, and Lexa knew these trees better than anyone. 

“Well, you were right about the election,” Clarke told her. “Everyone responded really well to the idea- even the people who voted for him in the first election didn’t think he would’ve turned out to be such a monster. We held another election yesterday, and Kane won.”

Lexa’s face glowed as her timid smile grew into one that lit up her entire face. It was rare that she showed her emotions so plainly, and Clarke committed the image to memory so that she might attempt to capture it with paper and charcoal when she had the opportunity. 

“So what will become of Pike?” Lexa pressed, her eyes alight with excitement. Of course she’d want to know about the punishment- she may have dictated that  _ blood must not have blood,  _ but she was a warrior through and through, and there was something inside of her that relished in the brutal execution of justice. 

“Kane said he’s going to investigate Pike’s war crimes,” Clarke disclosed, wishing she had something more substantial to satiate Lexa’s excitement. “Obviously he’ll be punished severely, I’m just not sure about the specifics. You could come back with me later to talk to Kane about it.”

“Regardless, that’s great news Clarke,” Lexa replied with a happy sigh. “My people will be thrilled- I’ll have the blockade removed as soon as I speak with Kane.” 

They had long passed the spot they had visited during their last visit- Lexa seemed to have somewhere else in mind, and Clarke didn’t question it, which turned out to be a good thing. The cliff that they walked along eventually led to a waterfall that gushed over the precipice. The face of the cliff was dotted green with shrubs and other small flowering plants, all the way down to the bottom of the valley they had looked down before. The mist from the waterfall kissed Clarke’s cheeks as they took a seat on a mossy fallen log close to the edge of the cliff where they could watch the sun rise and paint the sky every warm colour on the spectrum. It was a breathtaking view, and Clarke felt almost as winded as when Lexa had knocked her down.

“So my mom knows about us,” Clarke revealed after a period of silence. “She saw your little masterpiece on my neck last week.” 

She pulled her hair to one side, revealing the slightly faded, but still present bruises. Lexa smirked, and Clarke couldn’t help but smile too, even though she had wanted to pretend to be more disapproving about it. Deep down, she liked the implication that Lexa felt possessive of her. She wanted to be Lexa’s more than anything.

“What did she say?” Lexa asked slyly. They had passed the point of taking the situation seriously, and it was a refreshing change of pace. Lexa was always so serious, and Clarke always had to be too. The place they had come to was a sanctuary from the people they were expected to be in their respective leadership roles. 

“She said I was putting everyone at risk by meeting up with you in secret,” Clarke told her. “So I told her that we were discussing ‘strategy’, and that satisfied her enough that I could change the subject and get her on board with the whole election idea.”

“Clever girl,” Lexa purred approvingly, leaning in to kiss Clarke’s still-exposed neck. She shoved her away playfully. 

“Not while I’m living in the same room as my mom!” Clarke cried through her own laughter. In a more seductive voice, she added, “kiss me  _ anywhere else.”  _

And she did. 

\---

“So, now that Skaikru can resume their role in my coalition, will you return to Polis with me?” Lexa asked as they lay together among the soft mosses and ferns. Their clothes had been cast off in a pile somewhere, and the sunrise was painting their skin a glowing shade of orange that made Clarke itch for the paints and pastels she had been offered at Mount Weather.

“Really?” Clarke replied. “Your people would allow that?”

“It would ultimately benefit us all,” Lexa pointed out wisely. “Why quarrel with each other over past grudges? We all share this earth, we should do it peacefully. And besides- they have to listen to me. I try to rule as democratically as I can, but there are some matters I simply have to assert my authority on.”

“And what if I said no?” Clarke pressed with a smirk, even though she had no intention of it. “Would you assert your authority on  _ me?”  _

“Oh Clarke,” Lexa purred. “You wouldn’t stand a chance.”

\---

Lexa returned to Arkadia with Clarke to congratulate Marcus and to announce that she would be removing her blockade. Despite the fact that she only came bearing good news, people were still leery of her. Not that Clarke could blame them, Lexa’s presence demanded respect and could easily intimidate even the most tenacious warriors. 

“The Skaikru will be able to return to my coalition, if they’d like to,” Lexa announced, loudly enough for everyone to hear, though her words were directed more specifically to Marcus.

“Let’s put it to a vote,” Marcus suggested. Lexa nodded curtly and watched the crowd of people. “All in favour?”

Even without counting, it was obvious that a comfortable majority was in favour of the proposal. There was still a significant number of people that didn’t raise their hands to vote for the motion, but not enough to outweigh those in favour. It sobered Clarke to the reality that just because her people voted Charles out of power, didn’t necessarily mean they were all ready to assimilate with the Grounders. Maybe in time, they would realize that they could get along.

“Then it is settled,” Lexa said, her voice easily drawing Clarke from her thoughts. “An ambassador will return with me to Polis to represent your people’s interests.”

She didn’t specifically mention Clarke, that would be far too presumptuous. No one else stepped forward though, it didn’t even occur to the sky people that anyone  _ other  _ than Clarke would be interested in such a role. Clarke herself wondered,  _ if not me, then who?  _ She could see Octavia pursuing such a role, but her friend knew better than to come between her and Lexa.

“I’ll be sad to see you leave,” Abby said to Clarke. For some reason, Clarke was surprised by the soft comment. It had been a while since she had seen the more affectionate side of her mother. Of course, she always justified her arguments and objections by saying that it was  _ because  _ she cared about Clarke, but it wasn’t until now that she really believed it. “It’s the right thing to do.”

“Take care of her,” Abby said to Lexa in an abrasive tone that erased all the newfound tenderness that Clarke had just felt towards her. Clarke knew that Lexa would do anything to protect her, even when she didn’t want to be protected. She figured her mother would’ve realized the same, particularly since Lexa sent for her after her arrival at Polis. After she had been off the grid for three months. The microaggression did not go unnoticed.

“Of course I will,” Lexa replied coolly, with a knowing look at Clarke. “Gather your things. We’ll leave as soon as you’re ready.”

Clarke nodded and went to her bunk to collect a few things, leaving Lexa with Marcus and Abby. She wasn’t worried about leaving them alone together- she knew Lexa could handle herself if Abby got too callous with her, and Marcus wouldn’t dream of challenging such a formidable opponent.

Clarke didn’t have many belongings to collect, other than a change of clothes, an old sketchbook her mother had kept after she had been detained on the Ark, and a few rations for the trip back to Polis. She had barely lived in Camp Jaha, let alone Arkadia, there hadn’t really been a chance for sentimental items to accumulate. She thought about stealing the framed photograph of her and her parents, but knew it would hurt Abby more than what would be fair. Just as she was about to leave, she found herself face to face with Lexa in the doorway.

“This is your room?” Lexa inquired, looking around.

“Kind of. It’s more my mom’s, but we’re short on space, so we shared,” Clarke explained. Lexa nodded as her eyes roamed the room.

“What did your room look like on the Ark?” Lexa asked, being careful not to overstep any boundaries, even though Clarke was more than happy to talk about it. She thought it was endearing that Lexa still felt a little shy around her. The mighty Commander of the Thirteen Clans, nervous about being too invasive with her curiosity.

“The rooms are pretty much all the same,” Clarke told her. “But because my mom was a council member on the Ark, we had a bigger unit that had private bedrooms. The bedrooms were pretty small, but it was nice to have some privacy. My room had a window, which was really nice.”

“Could you see the earth from there?” Lexa asked. Clarke wondered how much Lexa would know about space- if she had ever seen a picture of the planet. Luckily, she had drawn it too many times to count. She pulled out her sketchbook, and showed one of the drawings to Lexa, who took the sketchbook into her own hands and stared down at it, awestruck. “This is beautiful.”

“Thanks,” Clarke said sheepishly. “It’s nothing compared to the real thing, though.”

Lexa smiled and handed Clarke her sketchbook back.

“Are you ready to go?” Lexa asked. Stashing the sketchbook back in her bag, Clarke nodded. She felt guilty about being so excited to leave the people she once called her own, but after being back at Arkadia for the past week, she had realized her heart belonged at Polis. It was hard leaving her friends behind, but Lexa had assured everyone that they were welcome to visit the city whenever they wished, for any reason, even if just to visit the renowned market. 

Lexa had a second horse given to Clarke by one of the soldiers from the blockade to ride back to Polis. She would’ve been just as happy to have nestled in behind Lexa on  _ her  _ horse for the long ride back to the city, but understood that it would be questionable for them to be seen in such a manner, people were suspicious of their relationship enough as things were.

As they rode away, Clarke felt proud of her people for finally making a decision that would actually lead them to making a good impression on the Grounders for once. Annoyed that it took them so long, but proud nonetheless. For the first time, she believed that her people’s doubts about the Grounders were behind them. 

She had been naive.


	3. Chapter 3

Living at Polis treated Clarke well. Lexa had offered her some staff to attend her every desire, but Clarke rejected the idea. The last time she had stayed at Polis, she had felt a little awkward when people would come to her room to deliver plates of food, draw her baths, make up her bed, or light the copious amount of candles for her. She was capable of doing those things herself now that she was familiar with them. 

However, preparing a bath had turned out to be a more elaborate task than Clarke had anticipated. When they had returned to the tower, Lexa left her to her own devices to get settled in, which Clarke appreciated. As much as she wanted to spend every spare moment with her, it had been a while since the last time she’d had time to herself, and the thought of a hot bath to ease her muscles that were sore from the long ride from Arkadia was irresistible. Her room, down the hall from Lexa’s, had a bathroom attached to it, with a clawfoot bathtub that had been salvaged from before the nuclear war. Under the bathtub, there was space to light coals to warm the water. 

One of the many marvels of Polis was the gift of running water. Clarke had no idea how it was set up, or if she would be able to have such a thing recreated at Arkadia, but if Monty and Raven put their brains together, surely they could figure it out. Now that they didn’t have to be as vigilant about defending themselves from the Grounders, they’d have much more time on their hands for such luxuries. 

As the water filled the tub, Clarke got to work on reigniting the coals underneath. She gathered a couple small logs from the pile by the fireplace in her room, and stuck them under the tub. After rummaging through some drawers and cupboards, she found a box of  _ matches.  _ She felt like she was royalty. Normally, she hated when people reduced her to being “Lexa’s pet”, but if this was the lifestyle that accompanied such a title… maybe she could get used to it. One of the most difficult skills she’d had to learn on the ground was starting fires- they hadn’t been allowed to practise it in her Earth Skills class, for obvious reasons. When her people lived at the dropship, or even at Camp Jaha, they’d always had a fire going, so she never had to figure out how to start one for herself, until she was cold and starving by herself in the wilderness. Luckily for her, Niylah had stumbled upon her before she froze to death, and showed her the ropes of living in the woods. She wondered what had happened to the trader’s daughter. 

After lighting the coals, she added a handful of aromatic herbs to the water from a jar she’d found beside the tub. The whole room came alive with the smell of the forest, and Clarke felt calmer before she even got into the water. When she’d imagined what life on the ground would be like, the luxury of taking a relaxing bath never crossed her mind. Of course, she bathed on the Ark, but with water being such a limited resource, the showers would automatically turn off after ten minutes, and were never as soothing as this. 

The whole process of drawing her bath took about an hour, including the time it took for the water to get hot enough to be enjoyable. It was worth every minute of effort it took, and Clarke sat in the tub until long after her fingers and toes had become all pruney. 

Next time, she’d let someone else draw it for her though. 

\---

  
  


Clarke had hoped things would settle down politically after the election. She knew her people had their reservations about the Grounders, and the Grounders were still resentful about Skaikru being permitted in the coalition, but figured that with the peace treaty forcing them to play nice, they at least had a foundation to build a relationship upon. However, she had severely underestimated just how resentful the Grounders were still feeling towards her and her people. 

“What is the meaning of this?!” snarled the Trishanakru ambassador upon her arrival to the first weekly delegation after the election. The other ambassadors seemed equally enraged by her presence, but Lexa merely raised a hand to silence them.

“Enough!” she roared over their squabbling. “Clarke has proven her ability to represent our interests among the members of Skaikru as fiercely as she represents their interests among us. She has my continued trust, and her people remain a valuable asset to our coalition.”

Clarke felt a little awkward about her presence constantly needing justification from the Commander, sometimes she felt like she didn’t belong in these meetings. But she refused to let that discomfort show, and instead, raised her chin and swallowed her uneasiness. Every meeting she attended seemed to be an exercise in compartmentalizing her emotions.

“Now,” Lexa continued in a more malevolent tone as she sat on her throne. “Does anyone care to  _ question  _ my judgement?” 

The room remained deadly silent. 

“That’s what I thought,” Lexa asserted. “I don’t want to hear any more objections about Skaikru’s position in the coalition. This has gone on long enough, and every minute we spend quarreling about it, is a minute wasted. Now, does anyone have any  _ relevant  _ concerns they would like to discuss?”

The ambassadors moved on so quickly, it was as if they had never objected to Clarke’s presence in the first place. Azgeda wanted more access to Trikru land as winter approached and the abundance of food became a growing concern for their large population. Clarke could almost laugh at the audacity of the request. Azgeda had more territory than any of the other clans, and with Trikru being represented by Lexa, they were unlikely to receive any charity from her. As expected, Lexa rejected the request, suggesting that they try to improve their ice fishing skills from Podakru and Floukru- though neither clan seemed keen on helping the Ice Nation. 

The Azgeda ambassador begrudgingly accepted Lexa’s response, and the meeting continued on until everyone had voiced their people’s concerns. Clarke was able to get the kill order lifted off of Lincoln- even though he was no longer welcome to participate in Trikru society, Lexa agreed that he didn’t deserve to die for his choice of allegiance at Mount Weather. 

Clarke couldn’t wait to tell Octavia the good news.

After the meeting, she lingered in the throne room until it was just her and Lexa left behind. 

“Forgive the other ambassadors for their hostility,” Lexa said to her. “They’ll get used to it. They just need to see that Skaikru can be just as powerful an ally as any other clan. Once the remaining reapers are cured, they’ll see your value as clearly as I do.” 

When Cage had bargained with Lexa at Mount Weather, he had tranquilized the reapers before releasing them, and gave Lexa the remaining tone generators and red drug to be able to control them, because once her alliance with Skaikru fell through, there would be no way for her to control the reapers. In the months prior to Skaikru joining the coalition, the grounders had to ration the supply of the red drug, and as a result, many of the reapers died in their containment units despite the healer’s best efforts. By the time Skaikru had joined the coalition, there were dozens of the reapers who needed Abby’s help in overcoming their addiction to the red drug. To help take on the enormous task, Abby had taught Clarke how to reverse the effects of the drug, and Clarke, in turn, had taught Nyko. 

“I hope so,” Clarke sighed. “Sometimes I wonder if our people will ever be able to get along.”

“Lifting the kill order on Lincoln will do more than just give him his freedom back,” Lexa pointed out wisely. “He and Octavia are a perfect example of coexistence with Skaikru. Perhaps it will inspire others.” 

“And what about me and you…?” Clarke pressed curiously, stepping closer to Lexa and looping her arms around her neck. Lexa hesitated for a moment before placing her hands on Clarke’s hips. “Do you think we’d inspire others?”

“You’ve seen how people accuse me relentlessly of giving you special treatment,” Lexa reminded her sadly. Clarke hadn’t missed the way Lexa had denied Azgeda’s request for assistance, but approved hers. Even though her reasons for each decision were perfectly sound, it could definitely raise suspicions about the Commander’s ability to be impartial. “I think we’d only inspire them to overthrow me.” 

“You’re right,” Clarke agreed wistfully. She leaned her forehead against Lexa’s, and gazed down at the ground between them.  _ Maybe one day, you and I will owe nothing more to our people.  _ “It’s a bit too soon to give them another reason to hate me and my people.” 

“Give them time,” Lexa gently reminded her again, lifting Clarke’s chin with one finger. “The Natblidas will be here any moment. Will you sit in on the lesson, or does Wanheda have other matters to attend to?” 

As much as Clarke loved to see how amiable Lexa was with the children, she was still itching to tell Octavia the good news about Lincoln. 

“I should probably go,” Clarke said, backing out of their loosely held embrace. She didn’t need to give Titus more reason to be suspicious of her intentions with Lexa. “I was wondering- is there a way I can send correspondence to my people? Our radios don’t work very well over such a long distance.” 

“There aren’t many of us who know how to read and write,” Lexa admitted. “But those of us who can, send letters using eagles. I’ll show you tonight, if you’d like.” 

“That would be great,” Clarke agreed, her curiosity running rampant. She planted a chaste kiss to Lexa’s cheek. “See you tonight.”

\---

That evening, Clarke waited for Lexa in the common room on the floor their rooms were located on. Their rooms were the only ones on the floor, allowing them plenty of privacy. None of the other ambassadors had rooms on this floor, but there wasn’t any vacancy on the floor that they resided on, so while it wasn’t inherently suspicious for Clarke and Lexa to have rooms across from each other, everyone had probably put the pieces together by now. 

Clarke had spent the afternoon exploring Polis, and her body was exhausted from all the ground she had covered, not to mention the obscene number of stairs she had climbed. The thought of another bath was enticing, but not worth the effort of preparing. Instead, she curled up in a plush armchair and pulled out some blank paper to get started on her letter. However, she found her mind blanking on where to start.

“Do you need some inspiration?” Lexa asked softly, coming up behind Clarke to press a kiss where her tied up hair revealed exposed flesh. Clarke nearly jumped- she was starting to resent Lexa’s ability to appear out of thin air. Lexa giggled, her breath stirring the sensitive skin of Clarke’s neck and sending a shiver that started at the top of her spine and ended between her legs. 

“Not where you’re involved,” Clarke replied lightheartedly as Lexa moved to the couch opposite from the chair. “I’m writing Octavia a letter to tell her that you’re lifting the kill order from Lincoln.”

“She will be happy to hear that,” Lexa agreed. “Indra’s in the city at the moment, perhaps she could deliver the letter on the way back to TonDC.”

“I think she’d probably rather die by forty-nine cuts,” Clarke pointed out. Lexa grinned. “And besides, I’m dying to know about those eagles you mentioned. I never thought they still existed.”

“To be fair, there are very few who can use them,” Lexa admitted. “Come with me, I’ll explain everything.” 

Lexa took Clarke by the hand and led her into her room. It was darker than the last time she had been inside, but all the hundreds of candles were lit, creating a shimmery golden atmosphere within. In the corner, there was a perch made of a gnarled tree branch that was taller than both Lexa and Clarke. She hadn’t noticed it before- it blended seamlessly with the decor of Lexa’s room. Clarke’s eyes followed the tree branch to where a giant eagle was perched, staring back at her with molten eyes. Nearby, she also noticed a small table with paper, an inkwell, and a spool of coarse string. A place to scribble down last minute letters to be sent in emergencies, perhaps.

“It’s huge,” Clarke gasped. “How come I’ve never seen this before?”

“Grimke wasn’t here the last time you were,” Lexa explained, extending her free arm for the eagle to land on. Up close, Clarke could see his russet feathers shimmered with flecks of gold. She had seen pictures of eagles in books before, but this one seemed larger and more impressive than the ones she had seen. It was as if he was made for the Commander specifically. “He was out delivering a letter to a village leader in the Shadow Valley.” 

“I can’t believe this,” Clarke breathed. 

“Do you have your letter? I’ll show you how it works,” Lexa offered. Clarke reached into her pocket and passed her the folded piece of paper. Lexa rolled it up tightly, and tied to the bird’s leg . “You simply give him the letter, tell him where it needs to go, and he does the rest.” 

“How does he know where everything is?” Clarke asked. Lexa smiled knowingly, and swapped the letter for a dagger she had attached to her belt. She pricked the scaly skin of the eagle’s leg, earning her a not-so-gentle nip from the bird. What Clarke saw was beyond comprehension. 

“He’s a nightblood?” Clarke remarked, unable to keep her jaw from falling open. “How is that even possible?”

“Same reason that I have it I suppose,” Lexa guessed with a shrug. “It’s much more common in birds than it is in people. We have about a dozen of these eagles at the moment- they aren’t known for their longevity. But having the nightblood bonds us. He can understand what I’m saying, and I can understand him.” 

“Just when I thought this couldn’t get crazier,” Clarke said incredulously. “What kinds of things does he say?”

“Nothing particularly interesting,” Lexa admitted. “Sometimes he tells me if he sees anything suspicious on his travels, but usually he flies too high up to notice anything significant. Other than that, it’s exactly what you’d expect birds to think about. Eating, flying, stuff like that.” 

“You can try to downplay this as much as you want, but I’m never going to get over how cool this is,” Clarke told her, grinning from ear to ear. She dared to reach out and stroke the short soft feathers on top of the bird’s head with one finger. “So he only listens to you then?” 

“More or less,” Lexa confirmed. “He could listen to anyone with nightblood- he gets particularly overwhelmed when the natblidas come around. But he recognizes faces. Eventually, he’ll learn that notes from you will go to Arkadia.” 

She murmured something to it in Trigedasleng that Clarke didn’t quite understand, but picked up the words Skaikru and Arkadia. She moved closer to the window, and Clarke followed to watch him spread his massive wings and fly off into the amber twilight sky. 

“Consider me inspired,” Clarke breathed, propping her chin on her elbows and leaning out on the window sill to feel the cool night air on her skin. 

\---

Clarke had expected it to take days to hear back from Octavia, so when she received a response the following afternoon, she was shocked. Lexa delivered her the letter when Clarke showed up to Lexa’s room for a lesson in Trigedasleng. It could help the Grounders accept her if she could at least speak their language, or at the very least, it might be useful for her to understand what others were saying. She had picked up a few words and phrases in the time she had been on the ground, but still often felt lost in delegations when the other ambassadors slipped into their native tongue. 

“How did this get here so quickly?” Clarke asked as she unfolded the paper. 

“It would take no time at all to get to Arkadia from here if you could fly,” Lexa explained matter-of-factly. “Grimke returned this morning- I imagine Octavia wrote that as soon as she read your letter so she could send it back with him. What did she say?”

“Not much,” Clarke admitted. “She’s thrilled about the kill order being lifted, and she wants to come to Polis with Lincoln. Assuming Indra doesn’t kill him first.” 

“Just because the kill order is lifted, doesn’t mean he cannot be killed,” Lexa agreed. “Though, I pity the soul who attempts to come between Octavia and Lincoln.”

Clarke laughed. There was no end to what Octavia would do to protect Lincoln, and vice versa. Even though she didn’t regret her decision to abandon TonDC with Lexa during the missile attack, being on the receiving end of Octavia’s wrath definitely made her think twice about crossing her ever again, and she was definitely relieved to be back in her good graces. 

\---

When Octavia and Lincoln arrived at Polis several weeks later, they did not appear to be as upbeat as Clarke had expected. To be fair, they had made the journey on foot, rather than on horseback. It was a gruelling trek that could take up to three days, and their exhaustion showed. Their skin and clothes were dirty from sleeping on the ground, their movements stiff as they walked into the city. 

They caught Clarke at the end of a Grounder history lesson with a village elder that she had met a week ago when she had been trading for art supplies in the market. She didn’t have much to trade for, but was able to scrape by with various trinkets and treasures she had started to accumulate upon having a room of her own. The elder, who went by the name of Tiga, could see her struggling to negotiate in a dialect of Trigedasleng that she was unfamiliar with, stepped in and helped her. She commended Clarke for trying, but warned her that there was only so much Lexa could teach her about their culture, having lived a life more sheltered than many. 

This particular lesson had struck a nerve with Clarke. Tiga had told her about how the twelve clans that Clarke knew had risen to existence. There used to be many more smaller tribes, but through many wars, the tribes either assimilated into the clans, or were wiped out altogether. It was an aspect of Grounder culture that many weren’t proud of, and chose to turn a blind eye to that aspect of their history. She assured Clarke that Lexa was aware of what had happened- the spirit of the commander would’ve told her. 

“Clarke, you look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Octavia said when they found each other. 

“You’re one to talk,” Clarke replied, quickly swallowing down whatever expression on her face had led Octavia to make such a comment. “You two look exhausted.”

“Yeah, well, the commander’s eagle couldn’t carry both of us, so we had to walk,” Octavia joked, though there was an edge of bitterness in her tone. “Doesn’t help that Trikru still hates our guts.” 

This was news to Clarke. To be fair, most of what she had heard of Trikru’s political opinions came from Lexa, so it would make sense if she was disproportionately willing to trust Skaikru compared to the rest of her people. This concerned Clarke- she never wanted to cloud Lexa’s judgement, and for what wasn’t the first time, she understood why people were so opposed to their relationship. A purple bruised spot in her mind dared wonder if Lexa was even aware of the strife between their clans, if she was manipulating her all over again...

“We can talk to Lexa about it later,” Clarke suggested before she could dwell too much on that thought. “I’ll show you two where you can stay while you’re here and you can get cleaned up, relax a little. When you’re ready, you can meet us in the throne room.”

Normally, visitors of Polis stayed in the lower levels of the tower, if not in tents outside the city. However, Clarke hadn’t slept in her own room in days, and figured if she wasn’t enjoying the luxuries it afforded, someone might as well should. The gesture, though insubstantial to Octavia, was not missed by Lincoln, who smiled gratefully. 

Clarke lingered in the common room on their floor before meeting Lexa in the throne room. She gripped the outside edge of a window sill to steady herself as she gazed out at the marketplace below, and wondered if her people could ever truly adapt to society here on the ground. Octavia gave her hope that one day they could, though she once criticized her for her willingness to jump into the unknown, head first. She wondered if she could ever fully trust that Lexa wouldn’t betray her again, and realized that in a way, she was jumping into the unknown, head first, too. 

When she found Lexa in the throne room, she was not alone, but as usual, dismissed her current conversation as soon as she entered the room. The person, who Clarke did not immediately recognize, excused himself abruptly without introducing himself. 

“A village expansion request,” Lexa explained to Clarke, relieving her of any suspicion she felt towards the stranger. “One of my more mundane tasks as the Commander. If only it were all so simple.” 

“If only,” Clarke agreed, but quickly steered the conversation in another direction. “Speaking of wishing that things were simple… Octavia and Lincoln are here. They told me that Trikru was giving them a hard time on their way here.”

Lexa’s face didn’t change, which told Clarke everything she needed to know.

“You knew about this, didn’t you?” Clarke accused, and again, Lexa didn’t flinch. She didn’t know how to feel about it- rage was the first emotion that jumped to her mind, but she was starting to learn that anger was usually a mask for something more sensitive. She dared to be dangerously hopeful that maybe things weren’t as bad as they seemed. “Why did you keep that from me?”

“I wasn’t deliberately keeping it from you,” Lexa replied calmly, her hands clasped behind her- always so perfectly composed, no matter what storms raged beneath the surface. “I only found out today, and I am planning a tour through the villages to give my people a direct voice to me.”

“You wouldn’t expel us from the coalition, would you?” Clarke asked nervously. She was still bruised from her last betrayal by Lexa- she couldn’t take another blow. Lexa broke free of her detached facade, and moved closer to Clarke, taking one hand in her both of her own.

“Of course not,” Lexa assured, her voice soft but firm. “I will convince them of Skaikru’s value. They know better than to question my decisions, but their opinions do need to be heard.”

“I trust you,” Clarke breathed shakily, and Lexa looked at her like she had given her the world. It had taken Clarke a long time to say those words, but she meant it. This moment proved it to her. Even though she had every reason to be nervous about Lexa’s motives, she now knew that Lexa was no longer hiding anything from her.

Before Lexa could respond, the glass doors to the throne room flew open, and Octavia walked in ahead of Lincoln. They wore the same clothes they came in wearing earlier, but were much cleaner, and had a little more purpose in their movements. Lexa let go of Clarke’s hand before they could see, and Clarke remembered that she would have no idea just how much Octavia knew about their relationship.

“Octavia, Lincoln,” Lexa greeted, her mask falling back into place as if it had never been lifted in the first place. “Welcome to Polis. I am sorry to hear your travels were disturbed.”

“It wasn’t that bad,” Lincoln assured her before Octavia could question the commander’s sincerity. “However, to be quite honest with you, it wasn’t just the journey here. Trikru has been sending us threats since the blockade was lifted.” 

“Pike was banished,” Octavia cut in, and Clarke was taken aback by the seemingly random interjection. Before anyone could say anything about it, Octavia continued. “No supplies, no friends, just him against the wild. Figured it was more morally justifiable than just killing him on the spot.”

“Glad to see that floating made its way to the ground,” Clarke muttered, and Octavia smirked. 

“Not even a full day later, we found his jacket just the outside of the gate,” Lincoln continued. “We didn’t think much of it at first, but then it was his shirt. Then it was his hands, still bound together with sisal twine. Then his shoes-”

“Okay, I think I get it,” Clarke interrupted. She hated Charles as much as anyone, but the graphic details of dismemberment made her uncomfortable, particularly standing next to Lexa as her lover. The historic tragedy that seemed to haunt the very role itself, wedged its way between them once again. “How do you know it was Trikru?”

“Who else could’ve gotten him so quickly?” Octavia countered. 

“Point taken…,” Clarke relented, rolling her eyes. “Even if we did banish Pike, clearly someone is trying to send us a message.”

“A message that Skaikru is not welcome,” Lincoln answered, to the question everyone was wondering. 

“Give me time to deliberate with my people,” Lexa said, not as a request, but more an explanation that she would not be making a statement about it until later. “I will do my best to figure out who did this, and why- but understand that as far as I am concerned, justice has already been served for Charles Pike.”

“Couldn’t agree more,” Octavia muttered. The corner of Lexa’s lips tugged ever so slightly into the hint of a smirk.    
  


\---

After a night of feasting, drinking and laughing, Clarke realized that Octavia and Lincoln had long since slunked off to go to bed. Lexa, who hadn’t been able to attend the dinner due to a late training session with the natblidas, would probably be finished for the night. Clarke wasn’t drunk- she had only consumed two glasses of the ale she had been offered, but her heart raced and her gait stumbled as she climbed the stairs to Lexa’s room excitedly. Luckily, she didn’t have to walk all the way up to the top of the tower. Once she was on the fifth floor, there was an elevator, which operated by having two incredibly strong people lift a carriage using a pulley. She had always wondered if they were there by choice, or as a punishment. 

Outside the foggy glass doors of Lexa’s room, Clarke drew a breath, and prepared herself for what she would say. 

“Still think there’s hope for our people to get along?” Clarke asked, somewhat smugly, as she stood in the doorway. Lexa looked up from where she had been studying a map at her desk- likely for the upcoming tour of her domain. 

“There is always hope, Clarke,” Lexa assured. “Even if it takes longer for them to sort out their differences, they always settle.”

Clarke remembered her lesson with Tiga. The tribes that had been most successful at assimilating into the clans were those that united through marriage of village leaders. In a world so rife with devastation, the Grounders had relished in any reason for a celebration, and none more so than a union ceremony of their adored leaders. It was an insane idea. Clarke closed the door behind her as she jumped into the unknown, head first.

“Lexa, what if we got married?” Clarke asked suddenly. Lexa was understandably flustered by the question. Her green eyes flashed with a flurry of emotions, and Clarke didn’t wait to see which one she’d land on before continuing. She crossed the room swiftly, pulling up a seat opposite from Lexa to gently grasp her hands in her own. Keep her tethered to her. “I know it seems like a lot so soon… Tiga told me about the tribes today, how they had to assimilate with the clans, or face extinction. She told me that the most successful assimilations happened when a village leader married a member of a tribe.” 

“I am aware,” Lexa acknowledged, though she had since compartmentalized her emotions. Clarke was presented with the impassive, regal expression of the Commander, who did not feel anything other than a thirst for justice. She could practically see the war paint. “I will not entertain this idea, Clarke.” 

“Don’t tell me Titus got through to you,” Clarke pleaded softly. Lexa’s jaw worked, and Clarke knew she was fighting some emotion from clawing its way to the surface. “Love is not weakness, Lexa.”

“Maybe not to you,” Lexa said, so cold it made Clarke flinch. Lexa quickly realized her abrasiveness, and jumped to correct it, speaking slightly softer when she continued. “But my enemies will not see it that way. They will see you as a way to get to me, and they’d be right.” 

“I am not Costia,” Clarke insisted, refusing to let herself be intimidated by Lexa’s cold front. She had torn through it before, and she would continue to do so until she could get through to her. Lexa dropped Clarke’s hands and stood up abruptly, gripping the edge of the table in front of them. She refused to meet Clarke’s gaze, and Clarke knew instantly that she had crossed a line.

“You’re right, you’re not,” Lexa replied in a cautious tone that made the hairs on Clarke’s arms stand up. When Lexa finally looked at her, there were tears in her eyes, despite her tone that was threatening to slice through her. “You’re  _ more  _ of a target than Costia was. The treasure of Arkadia, the legendary Wanheda, the Commander’s pet… you’re a woman of many enviable titles, Clarke. No matter where you go, there will always be people who want you dead, and being my bride would only increase that number of people. I won’t put you in danger like that.” 

Clarke wanted to sink into her chair and disappear. She knew it had been reckless to suggest such an idea, but hadn’t expected Lexa to get so defensive about it. She understood Lexa’s reluctance to put her on a pedestal, and now it was her that couldn’t meet Lexa’s eyes. She too felt the hot sting of tears welling up in her eyes. 

“Hey,” Clarke said around the lump in her throat. She stood on trembling legs to take Lexa’s hands once again, which had balled into fists at her sides. Clarke gently pried the fingers apart and slipped her own in between. It steadied her, as she hoped it would steady Lexa. “You said it yourself, there will  _ always  _ be people who want me dead, whether we’re married or not. And if it came down to being killed for just generally existing, or killed for being in love with you… I know which one I’m going to pick.” 

“In love?” Lexa echoed, raising a brow. Clarke had barely noticed saying it, but nothing slipped past Lexa.

“Well, you know what I mean,” Clarke stuttered, trying to play it cool, which only made Lexa smirk. 

“I do not,” Lexa insisted, finally breaking to reveal a playful side. “Please explain yourself, Clarke.” 

“Lexa,” Clarke replied slowly. She took a deep breath as she released Lexa’s hands and trailed her fingers up her slender, toned arms, took another step closer as she interlaced her own fingers somewhere behind Lexa’s head. “I love you.” 

“I cannot marry you, Clarke,” Lexa breathed, her words trembling as they were spoken. Her eyelids fluttered down, but it did nothing to hide the tears that splashed onto her cheek. 

“You don’t have to,” Clarke whispered back to her, leaning their foreheads together. “But you’re out of your mind if you think I’m going to let you push me away.”

“I think I must be out of my mind either way,” Lexa replied. Clarke breathed a humourless laugh. “But if this is madness… I could bear it, and I will.” 

“I think I could handle it too,” Clarke agreed, closing the space between them and capturing Lexa’s wet lips in a kiss. 

**Author's Note:**

> so there u have it !! if u guys like it, lemme know and i'll do more chapters hehe


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